As we turn the last page in this year for 2017 celebrations and countdowns are taking part in every part of the world. This year like last year will be a quiet affair at home with the kids. Yes just the 4 of us holed up at home as we shy away from the crowds that throng Marina Bay anticipating the lights from the fireworks released at midnight.
Watching the countdown on TV and reminiscing how 2017 had passed for us like a bullet train. It has been a bittersweet year with lots of unwanted drama due to the selfishness of certain toxic people who were formerly in our lives.
Too many things happened which have left me feeling bitter at times for being the subject of emotional and financial abuse. I did entertain thoughts of getting back for all the evil done to me and the kids however I do know that Karma will catch up with them and I shouldn’t get mine tainted in the process.
After going through a period of retrospection this December I have made a pact with myself that these bad feelings shouldn’t follow me over to the new year. I will not let negative thoughts dwell in my mind and stress myself up unduly with things beyond my control. I’ve tried my best and it is time to let go.
This is the word that I have selected for 2018. To surrender to GOD all my worries and grievances. To let him deal with what is beyond my abilities.
It is all based on his timing not mine. Being impatient only leads to stress and anxiety. He knows what I need and will provide it based on his timing. I need to be patient and wait for him to reveal his plans to me one at a time.
Release my need to be in control all the time of everything that is around me and let myself be okay with changes and deviations from the detailed plans that I have.
I want to surrender to him the fears and anxiety that I have of not being able to cope with the challenges that are coming my way in regards to securing adequate funds for the financing of the house, providing for the kids and reaching my goals.
Surrender to him my feelings of inadequacy and not being or doing enough for myself and the kids. Not to be too hard on myself and live it to him to guide and show me the way out of this less then ideal situation that I am in.
I want to surrender to more peace. To a reduced level of stress compared to the extremely high levels that I have been enduring since 2016.
I want to surrender my life and thoughts to him and let him take the lead. To stop holding back to the old stubborn ways of thinking that I can solve everything on my own and get stressed up because of it.
I surrender myself to you LORD. You and you alone are able to give me the peace that i seek.
I seek you in prayer constantly and know that with you as my guide 2018 will be the best year ever!!